ESL

    One of the most embarrassment moments in my life happened while I was learning English at Venice High School. They had one of the best ESL program (English as Second Language).

    I had hard time attending night school all week because I was working night shifts and the classes started at seven o’clock, but my teacher was ok by me attending a couple days a week. My teacher was a couple years younger than half of the students in the class. She had a great personality and her smile was amazing.

    I came to class on a Friday it was the end of the semester and I didn’t had a clue of what was going to be in the final test. Because we were learning the teacher had everybody bring a full sentence on a piece of paper and she was going to call one by one and we had to recite the sentence to her in front of the class.

    The first student was a Chinese woman and she wrote: “I like to learn English because I want to start my own business”. She was very nervous and her voice a little shaky but it was good.

    The second student was a Mexican Chef who was working for a hotel in Santa Monica, and he wanted to learn English to open his own restaurant. His sentence was “My chicken is big, clean and has a professional stove”.  We smiled a little, it was more like a nervous reaction, what he meant to say was “my kitchen is big, clean and has a professional stove”.

    The teacher ask who wanted to be next, while looking at me, I had nothing on paper but I raised my hand, sometimes is better to jump into the water if we want to learn to swim. So what was I going to do “improvise?”

    I stood up and walked to the front of the room where the teacher was waiting for the next victim (that’s how I felt) because when you learn something new and you are to be exposed in front of the whole class full of strangers a few steps seem very, very, very long. I was so secure of myself that I was ready to deliver my sentence as if I was accepting a Nobel Prize or an Oscar in Hollywood.

    “Teacher you have the most beautiful white tits I have ever seen”

     The commotion and laughter that came as I finished the last word was loud, some students were almost in tears from laughing so hard and others spilled their drinks.

     If I ever felt proud to have this amazing teacher and felt so stupid at the same time was that night. She was so calm and even though she giggle a little she just watched my fire red face melting of shame, but she said: “Do you mean teeth”. I was frozen and embarrassed, and she with her calm voice, lets try it again. I delivered my sentence in a humble manner as somebody who is learning to talk for the first time. That moment thought me not to pretend to be what I am not.

     After class, my male class mates called me a dog and the girls cover their blouses with their arms, and told me that a gentleman never tells. Twenty four years later, this moment still haunts me and makes me laugh.

                                                    MAE-WEST by: Henri Sabin