BETTER SENSE OF HUMOR

     My new year’s resolution is to have a better sense of humor; I started right away and here is proof of it. I was asked in three separate occasions on January 1st, by three different people from different nationalities to go to their churches, temples and places of worship. But why…do I look desperate? Do I need salvation? What was the reason they asked me?

    Anyway, I thanked them for caring and told them I was reading the books of Edgar Allan Poe. (That name sounds religious enough; I could have said I was watching the great Bill Maher TV show every week). They all told me that it was great and as long I was a believer, I was going to be saved.

    The same day at the mall I was asked by different gentlemen to join their political parties; I thought it was weird to talk politics this early in the morning, the first hours of the first day of the new decade, but it happened. The most aggressive of them was an older gentleman. He told me to join them because there is going to be a revolution and they need people of my kind (Right away I thought of a cartoon from Disney, Phineas and Ferb, a program my daughters watch; The girl Candace always says “Oh no you didn’t”). The gentleman also asked me, “By the way, what race are you?” I, honoring my promise to be civilized, even in the worst situations, and with a straight face, I answered “Human”. The old man left fuming; I think he was thanking me or something like that, because he was a couple feet away and I could only hear the last word (“%$#@ you”).

    Wow, it is great that I had this resolution at the beginning of the year, because if not I could have been insulted and ruined my family day out at the mall.